mysubmissionjournal:
Orgasm control has always been a big part of my discipline and training but over the last couple weeks and months, my Dom and I have really brought my levels of self control and restraint to a new level. It’s always been a conundrum of sorts, the point has always been to get myself as close as possible and maintain that edge without bringing myself to climax, and then to use my lustful frustration to better focus on servicing him hungrily and enthusiastically. But in this process of denying myself, letting the hormones and urges build, I become a hornier more sexual submissive that is obviously in need of more discipline and training. On a side not, this is another one of those things where the duration and repetition end up really being the mind blowing part. Sure, it’s a fun little game to play if it’s just for a night, but since we’ve been doing it day after day for as long as we’ve been together, it’s been an eye opening experience allowing myself to embrace my sexual side and allowing myself to be really horny, to be lustful, to need his cock and cum, to need to be his whore…but I digress.
Ever since we incorporated clothespins and rougher torment of my pussy and clit, it’s had dizzying and wanton effects. For starters, it’s taught me a lot about how much pain I can take and endure. If you think nipple clamps are bad, try having a clothespin left on your clit for a significant period of time and then follow it up with rough pinching and torment from you Dom. He’s been able to get me wetter and more excited than we ever have before. There’s something about the pain that’s a mixture of stimulation that excites me while at the same time it helps prevent me from reaching an orgasm. He’s been loving that part because it’s allowed us to prolong our edging sessions as well as just leaving the clothespin on during other lessons and sessions.
As I touched on a little earlier, the process of purposefully suppressing my own desires and using this frustration and desire to better focus on his needs has been another surprising lesson. Before I was with my Dom, I thought of myself as a very horny and sexual young woman. Now that we’ve been together for about three years now, I can honestly tell you he’s shown me how little I actually knew about myself sexually and what true desire really is. I really had no clue how much my own “morals” and self imposed boundaries were actually depriving me from experiencing so much. As a young woman, I think a lot of us are trained to fear our own sexual desires and urges. Some of it is warranted in this day and age of perverts and rapists, but a lot of it ends up restricting our abilities to enjoy sex when we are with someone we love.
Again, I’m getting off the original point I wanted to make! When my Dom first told me that I wasn’t allowed to cum unless he allowed me to, and that this was going to be how things were from now on, part of me thought it was just a game. Now, as he’s stayed consistent and strict with this rule for years now, it has taught me so much about self control, true selflessness, real pleasure, and true satisfaction. As I’ve embraced the discipline, his control, and my role as his submissive, the denial of my open orgasms has shown me so much about what pleasure can be. There such pure satisfaction in selfless service of a man you truly feel is deserving and when being brought to that edge and denied time after time, something magical happens inside my body and mind. It’s like a drug, it leaves me dizzy and so full of desire. It overrides everything else, it makes me feel more exposed and vulnerable than I’ve ever felt before. Showing him what a lustful animal I really am when you strip away all of my defenses. It makes it so clear that I need to be used, trained, and disciplined by him.
Okay, this post is getting a little long so I’ll cut it off here. I hope you enjoy!
Orgasm control has always been a big part of my discipline and training but over the last couple weeks and months, my Dom and I have really brought my levels of self control and restraint to a new level. It’s always been a conundrum of sorts, the point has always been to get myself as close as possible and maintain that edge without bringing myself to climax, and then to use my lustful frustration to better focus on servicing him hungrily and enthusiastically. But in this process of denying myself, letting the hormones and urges build, I become a hornier more sexual submissive that is obviously in need of more discipline and training. On a side not, this is another one of those things where the duration and repetition end up really being the mind blowing part. Sure, it’s a fun little game to play if it’s just for a night, but since we’ve been doing it day after day for as long as we’ve been together, it’s been an eye opening experience allowing myself to embrace my sexual side and allowing myself to be really horny, to be lustful, to need his cock and cum, to need to be his whore…but I digress.
Ever since we incorporated clothespins and rougher torment of my pussy and clit, it’s had dizzying and wanton effects. For starters, it’s taught me a lot about how much pain I can take and endure. If you think nipple clamps are bad, try having a clothespin left on your clit for a significant period of time and then follow it up with rough pinching and torment from you Dom. He’s been able to get me wetter and more excited than we ever have before. There’s something about the pain that’s a mixture of stimulation that excites me while at the same time it helps prevent me from reaching an orgasm. He’s been loving that part because it’s allowed us to prolong our edging sessions as well as just leaving the clothespin on during other lessons and sessions.
As I touched on a little earlier, the process of purposefully suppressing my own desires and using this frustration and desire to better focus on his needs has been another surprising lesson. Before I was with my Dom, I thought of myself as a very horny and sexual young woman. Now that we’ve been together for about three years now, I can honestly tell you he’s shown me how little I actually knew about myself sexually and what true desire really is. I really had no clue how much my own “morals” and self imposed boundaries were actually depriving me from experiencing so much. As a young woman, I think a lot of us are trained to fear our own sexual desires and urges. Some of it is warranted in this day and age of perverts and rapists, but a lot of it ends up restricting our abilities to enjoy sex when we are with someone we love.
Again, I’m getting off the original point I wanted to make! When my Dom first told me that I wasn’t allowed to cum unless he allowed me to, and that this was going to be how things were from now on, part of me thought it was just a game. Now, as he’s stayed consistent and strict with this rule for years now, it has taught me so much about self control, true selflessness, real pleasure, and true satisfaction. As I’ve embraced the discipline, his control, and my role as his submissive, the denial of my open orgasms has shown me so much about what pleasure can be. There such pure satisfaction in selfless service of a man you truly feel is deserving and when being brought to that edge and denied time after time, something magical happens inside my body and mind. It’s like a drug, it leaves me dizzy and so full of desire. It overrides everything else, it makes me feel more exposed and vulnerable than I’ve ever felt before. Showing him what a lustful animal I really am when you strip away all of my defenses. It makes it so clear that I need to be used, trained, and disciplined by him.
Okay, this post is getting a little long so I’ll cut it off here. I hope you enjoy!
