In Defense of Angie Varona (or: "A Respectful Ban")
The other day, I came across some pictures on my dashboard of an absolutely gorgeous young woman, whom I had seen many times. Her pictures are always making the rounds, and come up fairly regularly. Always clothed, never nude or even partially-so. Still, they were great pictures, and I had re-blogged them on quite a few occasions throughout the time I’ve had this Tumblr.
This particular time, the batch of pictures had a name… Angie Varona. I couldn’t recall if any of the previous pictures said her name, but I was certain I’d never looked up the name before. So, with her having so many popular pictures, I figured she must be a model or an internet celebrity, and probably has a presence elsewhere. I was curious… So, I googled her.
I’m now in the process or removing all her pictures from my archives.
First reason: She was about 14 when she started taking a lot of those pictures. That, ALONE… is reason that I don’t want them here. I have a reasonable expectation that any picture I post involve women that are at least 18 years old (preferably in their 20s, at the youngest). Her pics unintentionally fooled me, admittedly. So, again, if no other reason I talk about is a worthy argument… that right there is. I do not want them on my blog. I’m thankful (to no one in particular, as I’m atheist) that all her pictures are clothed; because if any were otherwise, I’d feel horrible, and uncomfortable enough that I’d probably close my Tumblr altogether, and then wash my eyes with bleach in an attempt to Un-see them.
But in the aforementioned Googling… I also read some not-so-pleasant things. She apparently IS an Internet-celebrity… but an unwilling one. According to what I read, her picture account out in the ether was hacked, and all pictures strewn over the Internet, without her permission. So, even if she was 18… the fact that they were ill-gotten, is another reason that I wouldn’t want them here.
I also feel it is part of the “reasonable expectations” of the pictures I see, that the subjects are willing participants, and WANT those pictures to be out here on the Internet. If I had more than a reasonable doubt that the large majority of subjects in these pictures were unwilling participants, or even regretting-after-the-fact ones… I’d delete my Tumblr altogether. So, if I know of individuals who don’t want their pictures on my Tumblr, I delete them, no questions asked.
I’ve been asked to remove pictures before, and I did just that. Some of them sent messages that came off a bit rude… basically demanding, “REMOVE MY PICTURE!” (No “please” or anything, and often trying to give the impression they’re about to start litigation.) Every time one of those came along, I always had to sigh and then politely reply to them, saying, “Sure, I’d be glad to. Could you give me the post number, or at least tell me the exact date it went up and a description of the pic?” (If you don’t give that info, there’s no way I’m going to know what you’re talking about.) Usually, they’re a little more polite on the subsequent messages. Frankly, I’d at least like to hear it stated as a request rather than a demand in the first place… because I don’t like thinking of random strangers as complete assholes on first impression. No meanness needed… if you don’t want your pictures on my site… then I don’t want your pictures on my site. I’ll be grateful to you in your assistance to help me remove them as quickly as possible. Plain and simple. So, please don’t be a dick about it.
Now, Angie Varona never contacted me and asked me to remove them… but it was clear that she never wanted these pictures out there. The news stories I read mentioned that she was then harassed, bullied and slut-shamed at school to the point that she had to change schools, and then when that didn’t work, was pulled out to be home-schooled instead. She also turned to drugs and alcohol because of the stress and depression.
That’s not sexy.
Now there’s Internet commentators out there and idiots saying shit like, “Well, it’s her own fault they got out there.” “She probably leaked them herself because she wanted attention.” “She’s stupid for taking the pictures in the first place.” “She’s benefiting from them now, modeling and all that.” Blah blah blah.
No, it’s not “her fault” they got out there. If she was hacked, then that’s the actions of the hacker. Some twat-waffle that had nothing better to do then break into someone’s private account just to ruin her day. They couldn’t be like a cool “fight-the-power” hacker and expose government corruption or illegal business goings-on… they have to leak the selfies of a High School Sophomore. One of those is describing an honorable 21st-century rebellion, the other is just an Asshole-Motherfucker.
Did she “want attention”? Do you remember being a teenager? Everyone wants attention. Everyone wants love, and no one has any freaking idea how to get it in a healthy manner. Anyone that ever says, “they just want attention”, I always hear the subtext of, “…and I just want to feel superior to them in every petty way I can.”
Was she stupid for taking the pictures in the first place? I don’t think so. The want and desire to feel attractive, to feel “sexy”, is a big drive for humans. Most mirror-self-shots and underwear pics by young women… I think they just want to feel sexy. We all want that, frankly, whatever age you are. I’m not going to knock someone for that urge. Fuck that kind of bullshit slut-shaming. It may be a “mistake”, but it does not make her “stupid.”
And I’ve never seen any professional model-shots from her, so I don’t see how she’s “benefiting” from the attention. Just because she’s blessed with good genetics doesn’t mean she WANTS to be a model. Maybe she doesn’t like the idea of only being able to get a job based on her looks. (I know… radical idea, right?)
But you know… let’s give these Internet commentators the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she did leak them herself. Maybe it was “her fault” for them getting out. Maybe it is “posting regret”. But still, if she then says, publicly, that she doesn’t want them out there… then why is some people’s first reaction, “TOO LATE, BITCH! THEY’RE OUT THERE FOREVER! FUCK YOU, STUPID SLUT!! HA HA HA! *fap fap fap fap fap*”
My own reaction tends to be closer to: “I’m sorry to hear that. I hope the experience hasn’t been too unpleasant for you…I will do my part and not perpetuate your pictures forthwith. Have a good day!”
I think its part of the whole “basic respect” thing.
I don’t mean the “hold in high esteem” definition of “respect”… I have to actually know you for that, or you have to do something incredibly world-changing and kick-ass. (Like Wendy Davis, the Texas legislator that did the 12-hour filibuster to try and stop the asinine abortion bill… the fact that it did go through does nothing to diminish the badassery of that act of defiance.) Rather, I’m using the “acceptance” definition of “respect”. I “accept” her decision, I “accept” her feelings as valid, and I demonstrate that acceptance by not holding it against her or insulting her, and then doing a small action that contributes. It doesn’t mean I worship her. It doesn’t mean I’m “whipped”, it doesn’t necessarily mean I’m a sap (though there’s plenty of other evidence for that). It’s just basic human respect.
If Jenna Ross (@jennajrossxxx), or Dani Daniels (@missdanidaniels), or April O’Neil (@heyitsapril) or any member of the Adult Industry, past or present, said they didn’t want to be associated with that industry anymore, and wanted all their pictures to go away… I would go through my archives, and delete all their pictures as well. If they were kind enough to provide attractive pictures for my enjoyment in the past… I will respect them enough to not feel entitled to “owning” them in some form, and demanding they continue. Just because you see them nude once, doesn’t mean you ever will again. I will do that for strangers whom I have never met before, or probably ever will. Simply because: If you do not want your pictures on my blog… I don’t want your pictures on my blog. If you want them on there now… but don’t want them on there next week, then I’ll delete them next week.
Granted, it’s unrealistic that these pictures ever WILL completely go away. And deleting them off my teeny corner of the Internet isn’t going to do squat, ultimately… but that’s not what it’s about.
Full, complete, adult, informed consent… is always sexier then anything else. No role-playing scenario can compare to that.
So, I do not want Angie Varona on my blog. I’m in the process of going through my archives to try and spot them… but if you know what she looks like, and you happen to notice I’ve missed one, please let me know, along with the post number, so I can take it off. Likewise, if you know of any other pictures with subjects that don’t want to be there… please let me know. And if you, yourself, are on my blog somewhere, and don’t wish to be… just tell me, (along with the post number) and you’ll be removed at my earliest opportunity.
Thanks for reading.
Signed,
ComfySexuality #Angie #Varona #respect #april #o'neil #dani #daniels #jenna #ross #bullying #bullshit #my #thoughts #policy
The other day, I came across some pictures on my dashboard of an absolutely gorgeous young woman, whom I had seen many times. Her pictures are always making the rounds, and come up fairly regularly. Always clothed, never nude or even partially-so. Still, they were great pictures, and I had re-blogged them on quite a few occasions throughout the time I’ve had this Tumblr.
This particular time, the batch of pictures had a name… Angie Varona. I couldn’t recall if any of the previous pictures said her name, but I was certain I’d never looked up the name before. So, with her having so many popular pictures, I figured she must be a model or an internet celebrity, and probably has a presence elsewhere. I was curious… So, I googled her.
I’m now in the process or removing all her pictures from my archives.
First reason: She was about 14 when she started taking a lot of those pictures. That, ALONE… is reason that I don’t want them here. I have a reasonable expectation that any picture I post involve women that are at least 18 years old (preferably in their 20s, at the youngest). Her pics unintentionally fooled me, admittedly. So, again, if no other reason I talk about is a worthy argument… that right there is. I do not want them on my blog. I’m thankful (to no one in particular, as I’m atheist) that all her pictures are clothed; because if any were otherwise, I’d feel horrible, and uncomfortable enough that I’d probably close my Tumblr altogether, and then wash my eyes with bleach in an attempt to Un-see them.
But in the aforementioned Googling… I also read some not-so-pleasant things. She apparently IS an Internet-celebrity… but an unwilling one. According to what I read, her picture account out in the ether was hacked, and all pictures strewn over the Internet, without her permission. So, even if she was 18… the fact that they were ill-gotten, is another reason that I wouldn’t want them here.
I also feel it is part of the “reasonable expectations” of the pictures I see, that the subjects are willing participants, and WANT those pictures to be out here on the Internet. If I had more than a reasonable doubt that the large majority of subjects in these pictures were unwilling participants, or even regretting-after-the-fact ones… I’d delete my Tumblr altogether. So, if I know of individuals who don’t want their pictures on my Tumblr, I delete them, no questions asked.
I’ve been asked to remove pictures before, and I did just that. Some of them sent messages that came off a bit rude… basically demanding, “REMOVE MY PICTURE!” (No “please” or anything, and often trying to give the impression they’re about to start litigation.) Every time one of those came along, I always had to sigh and then politely reply to them, saying, “Sure, I’d be glad to. Could you give me the post number, or at least tell me the exact date it went up and a description of the pic?” (If you don’t give that info, there’s no way I’m going to know what you’re talking about.) Usually, they’re a little more polite on the subsequent messages. Frankly, I’d at least like to hear it stated as a request rather than a demand in the first place… because I don’t like thinking of random strangers as complete assholes on first impression. No meanness needed… if you don’t want your pictures on my site… then I don’t want your pictures on my site. I’ll be grateful to you in your assistance to help me remove them as quickly as possible. Plain and simple. So, please don’t be a dick about it.
Now, Angie Varona never contacted me and asked me to remove them… but it was clear that she never wanted these pictures out there. The news stories I read mentioned that she was then harassed, bullied and slut-shamed at school to the point that she had to change schools, and then when that didn’t work, was pulled out to be home-schooled instead. She also turned to drugs and alcohol because of the stress and depression.
That’s not sexy.
Now there’s Internet commentators out there and idiots saying shit like, “Well, it’s her own fault they got out there.” “She probably leaked them herself because she wanted attention.” “She’s stupid for taking the pictures in the first place.” “She’s benefiting from them now, modeling and all that.” Blah blah blah.
No, it’s not “her fault” they got out there. If she was hacked, then that’s the actions of the hacker. Some twat-waffle that had nothing better to do then break into someone’s private account just to ruin her day. They couldn’t be like a cool “fight-the-power” hacker and expose government corruption or illegal business goings-on… they have to leak the selfies of a High School Sophomore. One of those is describing an honorable 21st-century rebellion, the other is just an Asshole-Motherfucker.
Did she “want attention”? Do you remember being a teenager? Everyone wants attention. Everyone wants love, and no one has any freaking idea how to get it in a healthy manner. Anyone that ever says, “they just want attention”, I always hear the subtext of, “…and I just want to feel superior to them in every petty way I can.”
Was she stupid for taking the pictures in the first place? I don’t think so. The want and desire to feel attractive, to feel “sexy”, is a big drive for humans. Most mirror-self-shots and underwear pics by young women… I think they just want to feel sexy. We all want that, frankly, whatever age you are. I’m not going to knock someone for that urge. Fuck that kind of bullshit slut-shaming. It may be a “mistake”, but it does not make her “stupid.”
And I’ve never seen any professional model-shots from her, so I don’t see how she’s “benefiting” from the attention. Just because she’s blessed with good genetics doesn’t mean she WANTS to be a model. Maybe she doesn’t like the idea of only being able to get a job based on her looks. (I know… radical idea, right?)
But you know… let’s give these Internet commentators the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she did leak them herself. Maybe it was “her fault” for them getting out. Maybe it is “posting regret”. But still, if she then says, publicly, that she doesn’t want them out there… then why is some people’s first reaction, “TOO LATE, BITCH! THEY’RE OUT THERE FOREVER! FUCK YOU, STUPID SLUT!! HA HA HA! *fap fap fap fap fap*”
My own reaction tends to be closer to: “I’m sorry to hear that. I hope the experience hasn’t been too unpleasant for you…I will do my part and not perpetuate your pictures forthwith. Have a good day!”
I think its part of the whole “basic respect” thing.
I don’t mean the “hold in high esteem” definition of “respect”… I have to actually know you for that, or you have to do something incredibly world-changing and kick-ass. (Like Wendy Davis, the Texas legislator that did the 12-hour filibuster to try and stop the asinine abortion bill… the fact that it did go through does nothing to diminish the badassery of that act of defiance.) Rather, I’m using the “acceptance” definition of “respect”. I “accept” her decision, I “accept” her feelings as valid, and I demonstrate that acceptance by not holding it against her or insulting her, and then doing a small action that contributes. It doesn’t mean I worship her. It doesn’t mean I’m “whipped”, it doesn’t necessarily mean I’m a sap (though there’s plenty of other evidence for that). It’s just basic human respect.
If Jenna Ross (@jennajrossxxx), or Dani Daniels (@missdanidaniels), or April O’Neil (@heyitsapril) or any member of the Adult Industry, past or present, said they didn’t want to be associated with that industry anymore, and wanted all their pictures to go away… I would go through my archives, and delete all their pictures as well. If they were kind enough to provide attractive pictures for my enjoyment in the past… I will respect them enough to not feel entitled to “owning” them in some form, and demanding they continue. Just because you see them nude once, doesn’t mean you ever will again. I will do that for strangers whom I have never met before, or probably ever will. Simply because: If you do not want your pictures on my blog… I don’t want your pictures on my blog. If you want them on there now… but don’t want them on there next week, then I’ll delete them next week.
Granted, it’s unrealistic that these pictures ever WILL completely go away. And deleting them off my teeny corner of the Internet isn’t going to do squat, ultimately… but that’s not what it’s about.
Full, complete, adult, informed consent… is always sexier then anything else. No role-playing scenario can compare to that.
So, I do not want Angie Varona on my blog. I’m in the process of going through my archives to try and spot them… but if you know what she looks like, and you happen to notice I’ve missed one, please let me know, along with the post number, so I can take it off. Likewise, if you know of any other pictures with subjects that don’t want to be there… please let me know. And if you, yourself, are on my blog somewhere, and don’t wish to be… just tell me, (along with the post number) and you’ll be removed at my earliest opportunity.
Thanks for reading.
Signed,
ComfySexuality #Angie #Varona #respect #april #o'neil #dani #daniels #jenna #ross #bullying #bullshit #my #thoughts #policy
