"Well howdy there, cowpokes! Allow me to be the first to welcome you to the Bulging D Goon Ranch! I reckon our ranch hand Trixie gave y'all yer complimentary doses of Goonavril on the drive over from the airport, right? I'd hate to have to brand her bottom with the iron we keep for silly sluts who neglect their chores. She did? Good!"
"Well in that case y'all ought to be feelin' a little tickle in yer britches right about now. Now let me tell ya what y'all can expect if this is yer first rodeo with Goonavril. Purty soon yer pecker's gonna get harder than a hickory switch, and then you'll start beatin' yer meat like ya caught it rustlin' cattle."
"A couple hours after that is when the real jamboree's gonna begin. By that point yer brain's gonna be mushier than a fresh-squeezed cow patty, and ya'll will be hangin' on my every word for the rest of yer stay here at our little homestead. So if I tell you to bring yerself to the edge while ya worship my sweaty feet, ya'll will jump to attention like ya just met a rattlesnake in the outhouse. And just so ya'll know, they've been marinatin' in these boots all mornin', so you best believe I'm gonna 'spect you to lick 'em clean fer me."
"For those of ya'll who purchased the Memory Maker package, we'll send ya home with a little brainwashin' to remember us by. Maybe you'll perform a saloon girl striptease every time ya hear Home on the Range, or find yerself mooing anytime someone touches yer teats. Hell, if ya impress me, we might even decide we'd like to keep ya around these parts a while. In that case, we'll stick a ring in yer nose, slap a brand on yer ass, and send ya out to pasture with all my other Brahma bulls. Ya'll paid for an experience, and if ya climb into the saddle, ya best be ready fer the ride. "
"All clear? Alright then, drop yer drawers and get to strokin'. We got a long trail ahead of us."
https://cdn06.bdsmlr.com/uploads/photos/2019/04/101085/bdsmlr-101085-tOWRESoKmG-og.jpg
"Well in that case y'all ought to be feelin' a little tickle in yer britches right about now. Now let me tell ya what y'all can expect if this is yer first rodeo with Goonavril. Purty soon yer pecker's gonna get harder than a hickory switch, and then you'll start beatin' yer meat like ya caught it rustlin' cattle."
"A couple hours after that is when the real jamboree's gonna begin. By that point yer brain's gonna be mushier than a fresh-squeezed cow patty, and ya'll will be hangin' on my every word for the rest of yer stay here at our little homestead. So if I tell you to bring yerself to the edge while ya worship my sweaty feet, ya'll will jump to attention like ya just met a rattlesnake in the outhouse. And just so ya'll know, they've been marinatin' in these boots all mornin', so you best believe I'm gonna 'spect you to lick 'em clean fer me."
"For those of ya'll who purchased the Memory Maker package, we'll send ya home with a little brainwashin' to remember us by. Maybe you'll perform a saloon girl striptease every time ya hear Home on the Range, or find yerself mooing anytime someone touches yer teats. Hell, if ya impress me, we might even decide we'd like to keep ya around these parts a while. In that case, we'll stick a ring in yer nose, slap a brand on yer ass, and send ya out to pasture with all my other Brahma bulls. Ya'll paid for an experience, and if ya climb into the saddle, ya best be ready fer the ride. "
"All clear? Alright then, drop yer drawers and get to strokin'. We got a long trail ahead of us."
https://cdn06.bdsmlr.com/uploads/photos/2019/04/101085/bdsmlr-101085-tOWRESoKmG-og.jpg
