the-pietriarchy:
“why do you wear all that makeup, I prefer the natural look”
It is eventually of course always the decision of the wearer. This is not up for debate, but I’d like to raise discussion on intentions:
That italics I certainly does not apply to all saying that. For some assholes the whole point may very well be that it isn’t pleasing them, the question remaining only a rhetoric device. But for some the self is only used as an example to arouse wonder about the phenomenon more widely, and the questions are actually looking for an answer: "Why do you do that? Just because you like? Social pressure? You put so much time and effort on it, but still sometimes stress about it; I find that odd. I don’t have experience nor do I understand why you do it. There are so many questions, and I want to understand you better.” I have certainly done the latter myself and would never even consider doing the former because that would be simply rude, and, thus, rules it out for me. Also, questions are for finding new information, don’t waste tem on mockery! (Interesting, although irrelevant for my case, is that my views on make-up have changed a lot over the years after meeting new, very interesting people. <3)My point: taking all that wonder and being honestly inquisitive (even if the focus of the first words sadly resembles the asshole way and could perhaps be made better) as only an attempt to belittle someone’s decisions misses a chance to teach someone, improve understanding. And it also feels damn horrible when you’re really excited and interested about something and people start mocking you about selfishness instead.If only people could interpret each other better to rule out more false positives. ;_; #makeup #make-up #understanding #people #mockery #potentially #false #accusations #per #situation #learning
“why do you wear all that makeup, I prefer the natural look”
It is eventually of course always the decision of the wearer. This is not up for debate, but I’d like to raise discussion on intentions:
That italics I certainly does not apply to all saying that. For some assholes the whole point may very well be that it isn’t pleasing them, the question remaining only a rhetoric device. But for some the self is only used as an example to arouse wonder about the phenomenon more widely, and the questions are actually looking for an answer: "Why do you do that? Just because you like? Social pressure? You put so much time and effort on it, but still sometimes stress about it; I find that odd. I don’t have experience nor do I understand why you do it. There are so many questions, and I want to understand you better.” I have certainly done the latter myself and would never even consider doing the former because that would be simply rude, and, thus, rules it out for me. Also, questions are for finding new information, don’t waste tem on mockery! (Interesting, although irrelevant for my case, is that my views on make-up have changed a lot over the years after meeting new, very interesting people. <3)My point: taking all that wonder and being honestly inquisitive (even if the focus of the first words sadly resembles the asshole way and could perhaps be made better) as only an attempt to belittle someone’s decisions misses a chance to teach someone, improve understanding. And it also feels damn horrible when you’re really excited and interested about something and people start mocking you about selfishness instead.If only people could interpret each other better to rule out more false positives. ;_; #makeup #make-up #understanding #people #mockery #potentially #false #accusations #per #situation #learning
